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In Texas, there's always a section of the ranch, not the main part, where "other stuff" happens and is often referred to as The South Forty. ("Where are those no-good nephews?" "Probably checking out that scraggly bunch of heifers in the South 40.")
This page is that part of our site. It features additional product photos and a growing collection of Texas jokes that we hope you will like (feel free to send yours, too, if they're funny!).
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A theology professor from Southern Methodist University was visiting a friend at Abilene Christian College and agreed to teach a class. The professor opened by asking the students a series of questions.
"What is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," said one student.
"And the opposite of depression?"
"Elation," said another.
"And opposite of woe?"
A tall beanpole of a student at the back replied, "Giddy up!"
- A two-monk monastary near Junction was getting behind on their holy water payments.
They decided the one thing they were good at, that someone might buy, was
their Friday night fish-and-chips.
They opened a stand on the side of the old highway outside the monastery and sold their
fresh fish and chips. They both worked hard supplying the fish and chips to their growing
number of customers. One day when one of them was off purchasing more
fish, a lady came to the stand who was delighted with their food.
Wanting to know more about the operation, and seeing only one monk
there, she asked,
"Are you the fish friar?"
He replied, "No, I'm the chip monk."
- Back in the early days of Texas, old Judge Roy Bean was confronted with a touchy situation. It seems that a grizzly old prospector was accused of having two wives. The man was hauled before Judge Roy Bean and the judge said, "You're going to have to give up one of your wives." The prospector protested. He pounded his fists on the judge's bench and said, "That ain't right, your honor. I love Kate. And I love Edith, too. And I don't want to give up either of 'em." The judge bangled his gavel and said, "Order in the court! Now listen, here, you know the law west of the Pecos says you can't have your Kate and Edith, too."
- And now a trivia question about food. How many Aggie cooks does it take to bake six-dozen cookies? Ten. One to stir the batter and nine to peel the M&M's.
- I guess the folks at the Texas Department of Public Safety have good intentions, but some of the questions they ask on their drivers license tests are sure picky. For example, a fella who drives 18-wheelers from outta Childress had to go in and update his license. And the examiner, a woman who delighted in making the test as tough as possible, looked him right in the eye and said, "Suppose your 18-wheeler is loaded with heavy oilfield equipment and you're headed down a steep hill with a sharp curve at the bottom and your brakes fail. On your right is a 300 foot drop into a canyon and on the left is a solid rock wall. You've got a slow moving pickup 100 yards in front of you and another 18-wheeler is headed toward you in the opposite lane. Now, your brakes have failed. What would you do?" The trucker rubbed his stubby chin whiskers a minute and then said, "I reckon I'd reach back in my sleeper compartment and wake up George, my relief driver." The examiner frowned and said, "What good would it do to wake up your partner?" "Oh, it wouldn't do no good a'tall," the trucker said. "But George ain't never seen quite as bad a wreck as what we're gonna have."
- The folks in Canyon, Texas got a little bad publicity recently. It seems that a senior psychology major at West Texas State University was arrested for indecent exposure at a local coin-operated laudry. The police caught him standing there in the nude. But he explained by pointing to the sign over the dryer: "When you are finished, please remove all your clothes."
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